2 – Alberts Perspctive

In one episode of Scrubs, Dr Cox (best character of any show EVER) rants like usual. Only this time his rant is called – Perrys Perspective. Here he states his views on certain topic and situations

and i quote:

‘”if the person in front of me in the line at the coffee shop does not choose what they want in the time it took me to get there i should be allowed to kill them’

‘im fairly certain that if they took all the porn off the Internet there would only be one site left called – bringbacktheporn.com’

 

 

 

And i thought that was pretty true/mart. But there some other things i think as well. Here is – My perspective.

• ‘Avatar’ was just a pimped out and modern version of ‘Pocahontas’
• The burden of lying with ease, is struggling to be honest
• Paying attention???  It should be free!
• When something is meant to be funny, its usually harder to laugh at. Like, a friend of yours could be the most hilarious person, yet, should they try a standup comedy, with scripted jokes, its a lot harder to laugh.
• People seem to laugh at what is true. The best jokes and standups rely on people slapping their knees and saying – haha so true. Like, you say to someone, ‘Everyone has that natural sigh when u drink water, and when you don’t, it feels like you’re holding something back’
  Now thats just an honest statement, yet it gets laughs.
• There are two answers to any conspiracy theory – It was the CIA or the aliens
• The echo in public washrooms is kind of inconvenient
• Writers should be payed equal to or more than actors and actresses. Writers can live without the stars – its called books. But where would all our stars be without the precious scripts?
• Women need to make up their minds. One minute they want to be treated fairly, next minute they wanna be let on the bus first, or have someone hand over their umbrella. Sexism is defined as the unequal treatment between sexes. Special is pretty much sugar coating the word different. What did ya think Special treatment meant? Its sexism! I mean FINE, pregnant women, deserve special treatment, carrying around a kid. But perfectly healthy women shoulda brought their own umbrellas now shouldnt they?
• Modern fashion is messed up. Pay 300 – no wait my bad – 299 bucks for a pair of faded jeans with tears at the knees. @#$% that man, just buy a frigging $50 pair, rub em in the dirt and slash em with a kitchen knife. You’ve just added several hundred dollars to the value…
• New dresses are a disgrace. I mean, the dresses have EXTREMELY thin fabric, show the entire breast, and have like a one centimetre strap covering the nipple despite the fact we can now see a clear outline anyway. And they claim this aint revaling…
• Jenny Craig funds the McDonald campaign      ( hasiblog.tk )
• Someone elses stupidity, doesnt lessen yours
• The only 100% way to ensure you never get raped, is to enjoy it, should it come. That way, it just sex.
• Tell us what you want. Subtle hints don’t work
• Learn to use the toilet seat. Ladies, if its up, put it down. Men, if its down, put it up.
• A bad idea is one that can be used against you
• Beig too unpredictable becomes too predictable. To be truly unpredictable, you must at times, become predictable.
• People who want sympathy, usually dont deserve it. People who deserve sympathy, usually dont want it.
• Sex is NOT the answer, people. It is the QUESTION. YES is the answer
• Sport cars are stupid. Whats the point of paying millions for a car that goes 300km/h, but you’re not allowed to drive that fast anyway. Its frigging pointless shit.
• You want attention, but being an annoying little shit is not the right way to get it.
• Once you’ve been given a title, theres a notion that you’ve been understood.
• Anyone who follows gossip, gossip magazine and takes great interest in these things – should be slapped and informed that they are a tool by someone who does not do these things.
• Highschool kids are becoming more and more like mini hollywood celebrities. Half the couples do it for the attention (or ‘publicity’) than end it abrubtly
• If i get more then 2 chain emails by the same person in one day, i SHOULD be allowed to kill them – if people hit ‘reply all’ instead of ‘reply’ and a massive conversation starts that i am not involved in, and is now pretty much spam – i should be able to kill them and destroy their modems
• The media has greatly effed the way people think. Models have effed the way people think about themselves. Movies have effed the way people think about: survival situations, love, politics, etc. And ads have effed the way people think about pretty much everything.
• Valentines was invented by guys to remind them to do something to shut women up. Then women got suspicious about how they all got stuff on the same day – and finally the media took over.
• When someone acuses you of something you havnt done/ dont do, do NOT deny it NEVER deny it. Always use sarcasm. For some reason saying i dont… seems to reinforce it to these gossiping dumbasses that its true. Sarcasm, however usually results in them say, ‘Oh my god so its true,’ or something along those lines, but sarcastically. Now if you followed that/understood what the hell it is im saying - it should help-but just in you know, gossip situations. I strongly advise against a defendant in court sarcastically saying to the judge:
  ‘Oh, so maybe i DID sleep with your wife!’
• No-one cares bout the middle  (wo)man. Everyone wants the extremes. People say that theyre not shallow and personality matters, but very rarely is this so. You want the opposite sex to look at you, you gotta stand out, be fit, rebellious and just about the biggest dick/bitch you could possibly be. Sorry for the harsh stereotyping, (I’m not sorry) but its true. To readers this applies to, when was the last time you thought of those guys in the middle of the class actually DOING their work? The last time you thought about the friend you had (opposite sex) who was nice? Nah, too busy thinking bout the one in the BACK of the class making smart comments, or too busy wondering whether or not the one who hates you really likes you. But please note i do say that there are SOME people who this doesnt apply to.
  As for people acting like assholes for attention. You STOP being a asshole once you have their attention.
  Thats the difference between attention seekers and real assholes
• Some chicks pick up on every slight sexist comment against women in movies. “Ooh that movie sucks cos it says all women are sluts” etc. Seriously – shut the hell up. Movies bag out guys too. So what if some movies depict some  chicks as sluts. Some movies depict men as boob loving tools, who follow any orders given from someone with a rack. Its even people. Both sides are assholes. But people, to some degree its true anyway. Some women ARE sluts. And some guys will do anything someone with boobs tells them to. Friggen shut it already. Besides, since when were movies ever a depiction of reality anyway?
• People say it the communication ages – like hell it is. People sit there on msn and their phones, talking to friends they cant see. Turn around people, your family is there. If you cant remember 3 funny stories from each parent – then GET THE HELL OFF YOUR COMPUTER. I mean, when was the last time you texted your family, about something other than: ‘Pick me up now please.’ People, most of you will be parents one day. Would you like it if your kids just forgot about you?
• Modesty is the new arrogance. Its not just kids that go ‘My picture is crap’ – just to get someone to say, no its not. Seriously, the amount of people who go around saying, ’I'm fat’ (when theyre not) or ‘Hey youve got massive muscles’ (saying this to someone who clearly has less muscles then them). Its these people who desperately want someone to say the words ‘your not fat’ or ‘your pretty muscly too’. Do the test. Wait and see how disappointed they are when you dont say what they want. Agree with them….
• Tell us what you want. Subtle hints don’t work. I mean so many people refuse to ask what they want – they either (like i stated above) be obviously modest, or they do these little tests. Women, its usually you who do this shit. Like, i know people, who have been victims of the ‘do they care’ test. Its when, usually a chick, will say to a guy shes leaving, in hope that he says, stop or dont. Theres also the test where they say – Nobody cares about me (this is your cue to say I care.) Seriously – Is it that shameful to say:  Hey – are we friends? or to ask – hey what do i mean to you. Jeez. Then they blame us for not ‘noticing’ the things theyre doing. They claim we’re not picking up on the hints. Well i wonder why?
• The amount of conspiracies and cover ups is amazing. The amount of normal things that people THINK is a conspiracy and/or cover up is even more amazing… 

 

Now if you’ve read this far, you either like what you see, your really bored or you have no life. But if you’re any of those, i strongly advise you going to this site, made by a friend of mine (another Weapon of Mass stupidity). If you want a laugh:

>>>>>>>>> http://www.hasiblog.tk/<<<<<<<<<<